On Suicide

Person standing staring into the dark night sky between two trains.

I rarely panic when I receive a phone call, but something in my gut knew something was not right. Why was my brother calling me so early on a Sunday morning? It was so out of character. I knew he had hit a rough patch and I could only guess that he might (finally) be reaching out for help. I quickly pulled myself together, took a deep breath, and with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, answered the phone with a “Hey Ryan! How’s it going?”

February 5th, 2017 was a day that rocked my family. I still remember the pain and panic in Ryan’s voice as he described what found when he got home. I immediately fought to hold back tears while desperately trying to hold my shit together during the car ride back home. You know those moments when you feel you’re having an out of body experience. You are awake, and yet you feel like you just disconnected from the rest of the world and are suspended in a dreamlike state. Only this was all too real and much more of a waking nightmare.

Appreciating Dependencies on Independence Day

Individual pieces connect to form a bigger whole.

As my family prepares to head over to be with friends and family to celebrate the 4th of July, I found myself reflecting on and appreciating all the things that we depend on to make this day possible.

For starters, Mother Earth! How fortunate are we to even have a human race to begin with? We just happen to live on a planet that just happens to have the right amount of water and organic mater at just the right distance from the sun to sustain such a wonderful diversity of plants and animals. Without Mother Earth and the Sun, there would be no people.

Fighting Entropy

A pier in decay

Ever find yourself watching an episode of Hoarders? After the initial shock factor of seeing a person struggle to wade through piles of junk while walking from room to room, you will inevitably you will ask yourself the following questions:

Spiritual Anorexia

Woman with a distorted, etheric reflection.

"But I’ve been attempting to draw nourishment from my Twitter feed since my account was created in the aughts. And I still don’t know how many spiritual calories are in a tweet. Will I ever achieve my daily allowance? Will I ever fill my bucket? Or will trolls fire their darts incessantly, puncturing my pail until it resembles colander, allowing my vitality to spill in all directions?"

Giving in the Name of Evelyn: Year 3

Community Roots Midwife Collective Logo

Two years ago, my wife and I kicked off a new family tradition in lieu of trying to conform to the traditional (and unrealistic) expectations surrounding Valentine's day. Given that the Holiday is centered around love, we wanted to transform our focus our energy on paying it forward by donating to organizations that are making a positive impact on the world. In doing so, we hope to set an example for our daughter Evelyn.

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