“You suck.” I bet everyone has been on the receiving end of this insult at least a half dozen times in their lifetime. I would also bet that a person’s reactions to those words varied wildly based on when it occurred, the context around why it was said, and (most importantly) who said it. After all, we might come to expect hearing something like that from someone experiencing road rage or from a drunk fan from a rival sports team. In those situations, we can find it easy to shrug this off and move on with our lives.
Case in point, several years ago I had to replace the rear passenger tire of our Ford Escape because the sidewalls were coming apart. Sure, the experimentalist inside of me wanted to see how far I could push it because I've never experienced a tire blow out while going 75 mph down a highway. Still, my wife did an excellent job calling me out on my semi-sarcastic plans, so off to the tire shop I went!
I rarely panic when I receive a phone call, but something in my gut knew something was not right. Why was my brother calling me so early on a Sunday morning? It was so out of character. I knew he had hit a rough patch and I could only guess that he might (finally) be reaching out for help. I quickly pulled myself together, took a deep breath, and with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, answered the phone with a “Hey Ryan! How’s it going?”
February 5th, 2017 was a day that rocked my family. I still remember the pain and panic in Ryan’s voice as he described what found when he got home. I immediately fought to hold back tears while desperately trying to hold my shit together during the car ride back home. You know those moments when you feel you’re having an out of body experience. You are awake, and yet you feel like you just disconnected from the rest of the world and are suspended in a dreamlike state. Only this was all too real and much more of a waking nightmare.
As my family prepares to head over to be with friends and family to celebrate the 4th of July, I found myself reflecting on and appreciating all the things that we depend on to make this day possible.
For starters, Mother Earth! How fortunate are we to even have a human race to begin with? We just happen to live on a planet that just happens to have the right amount of water and organic mater at just the right distance from the sun to sustain such a wonderful diversity of plants and animals. Without Mother Earth and the Sun, there would be no people.
"But I’ve been attempting to draw nourishment from my Twitter feed since my account was created in the aughts. And I still don’t know how many spiritual calories are in a tweet. Will I ever achieve my daily allowance? Will I ever fill my bucket? Or will trolls fire their darts incessantly, puncturing my pail until it resembles colander, allowing my vitality to spill in all directions?"